Tips for Raising Your Children in a Digital Age

The Bad News

There are numerous studies that highlight the negative impact of technology on children and youth. Sadly, these findings reveal some devastatingly harmful effects.

• In one large, prospective, longitudinal cohort study, it was found that boys playing violent games exhibited changes in personality over a period of 3 or more years. They become more selfish, less honest, more hostile, and less patient.
• Studies have found a strong associations between social media use and adverse mental health outcomes, especially among girls, which may be contributing to the rising rates of depression, anxiety, and suicide among teenagers and young adults. 
• Studies have shown that children who watch a lot of TV have a greater likelihood of becoming obese. The commercials targeted at children are one of the reasons why.  Plus they are focusing more on the media than noticing the internal signs of whether or not they are full.

Setting Boundaries

There are healthy rules you can instill for your children at home.  These rules can help responsibly navigate the use of media while maintaining a strong connection to the real world.  Here are some tips for raising your children in a digital age.

1. Set Expectations and Limits
2. Before any recreational screen time, set out the rule that all schoolwork and chores first need to be completed. I remember my mother saying, “Do what you NEED to do, so you can do what you WANT to do.”
3. Ask your child what electronic activity they will be doing during their technology time. Set appropriate limits based on age so they can get an enjoyable experience without overdoing it.
4. Children are exposed to more screens than ever before, including television, computers, gaming consoles, smartphones and tablets. While these tools may offer benefits for learning and exploration, too much screen time can lead to poor social skills and poor social attachments to parents and peers. While technology time limits are up to the discretion of a parent, it is recommended that children under two years of age do not have screen time; for children two to five years old a limit of screen time of one hour a day or less is recommended. 
5. For younger children, keep screens out of their bedroom. This will help them establish good bedtime and sleep habits.
6. Have Media-Free Mealtime and Family Time
7. Put all devices aside and focus on food and each other.​
8. Meal time is an important time for family conversations and sharing the day's experiences without media getting in the way.
9. Teach Children to Surf the Internet Responsibly
10. The parent can be a guide to the online world, helping their child find appropriate material, avoiding things that aren’t appropriate and understanding what they see. Kids under 10 shouldn’t be using Internet-connected devices completely unsupervised.
11. Once kids start exploring the Internet on their own, introduce them to kid-friendly search engines
12. Let your child know not to give strangers any personal information.  This is especially true when playing an online interactive game. While they can safely collaborate with others to play online games, they should not be talking about personal information.
13. Here are some tips for monitoring your child: 
14. Be open about it. Explaining why you want to keep tabs on them can help your kids understand some of the issues they’re likely to encounter online.
15. Make it part of your family rules to explain appropriate online behavior.  This can have a strong effect on what kids do online.
16. Reward good behavior with increased trust. The more kids feel their parents trust them online, the more likely they are to come to their parents when they have problems.
17. Allow Tech-Free Hours
18. Time can be spent reading a book, playing a game, exercising, doing a craft or hobby, or playing outside. Encourage free time to be spent in a family room rather than by themselves in a bedroom.
19. A good rule to set out is that when your family is in the car together there are no headsets, earbuds, or screens during that time.  This is a great time to have conversations together.
20. Give your child device-free time before bed to allow them time to wind down.

Your guidance and rules can help your children to become responsible technology consumers as adults. Remember leading by example is the best teacher.